We walked in darkness
You dimed the light
I coverd the sunset
The while you cry
I need a way of relation
And you need a hide
Last at a tree
Knowing more than any human can handle
I got a place to hold you
Knowing the dark fields of life
Without evaluation
May this is the only
I found you
A place of welcome
And a knowing to hold you
The suffer cuts you in dark
Sometimes to me opens the fields of the suicidals
I may know their scream in this last way of pain expression
And the awful ignorance of society
Its like tear you in deep and darkness
All alone
An no one seems to care
With their happy lives and their trivial problems
The scream seems not loud enough
They call them ill by depression
But what is the cause?
And who is the perpetrator for real?
Psychologically indivduals knows; in the last there is none
It is called; transgenerational transmission of trauma
But does this knowing chance anything in reality?
It seems not, but it does (in the background)
Like water... slowly, soft.. and finding its way, however
Its why i am still here
I survived the unsurvivable by wonders
And a worst pain of the dark side of human beeings till today
There are a hundred thousand reasons to quit
For the "normal outside people" my life seems destroied
And I get discriminated also
For some I am no person for eye level. And them are not only narcissistic
What is my point of beeing with all that?
Feeling. Searching ways going through. Beeing like water.
I go my one way (home). I was in hell. There is nothing that can be more worse.
But I have to admit; I dont know if i will die by suicide or not. I hope not. But its dependent by so many reasons. Mostly the burdens and stress upon from the outside.
We will see.
Its a tightrope walk, isnt it?
We are such fucking great and strong intelligent beeings.
May the wisdom always be with us.
