My depression and me

We walked in darkness

You dimed the light

I coverd the sunset

The while you cry

I need a way of relation

And you need a hide

Last at a tree

Knowing more than any human can handle

I got a place to hold you

Knowing the dark fields of life

Without evaluation

May this is the only

I found you

A place of welcome

And a knowing to hold you

The suffer cuts you in dark 

Sometimes to me opens the fields of the suicidals

I may know their scream in this last way of pain expression

And the awful ignorance of society

Its like tear you in deep and darkness

All alone

An no one seems to care

With their happy lives and their trivial problems

The scream seems not loud enough

They call them ill by depression

But what is the cause?

And who is the perpetrator for real?

Psychologically indivduals knows; in the last there is none

It is called; transgenerational transmission of trauma

But does this knowing chance anything in reality?

It seems not, but it does (in the background)

Like water... slowly, soft.. and finding its way, however

Its why i am still here

I survived the unsurvivable by wonders

And a worst pain of the dark side of human beeings till today

There are a hundred thousand reasons to quit

For the "normal outside people" my life seems destroied

And I get discriminated also

For some I am no person for eye level. And them are not only narcissistic

What is my point of beeing with all that?

Feeling. Searching ways going through. Beeing like water.

I go my one way (home). I was in hell. There is nothing that can be more worse.

But I have to admit; I dont know if i will die by suicide or not. I hope not. But its dependent by so many reasons. Mostly the burdens and stress upon from the outside.

We will see.

Its a tightrope walk, isnt it?

We are such fucking great and strong intelligent beeings.

May the wisdom always be with us.